I’ve Witnessed Horrible Things at Football Matches – But The Thing That Landed on the Pitch Recently Was Truly Appalling
An incident happened at last Saturday’s soccer game – but it turned out to be anything but funny. My team, West Brom, were outplaying their opponents without managing to get a goal. Ordinarily, during the latter part progressed, I would have given in to pessimism, assuming that for all the team’s control, they’d fail to net, whereas the opposition somehow might, and I’d end up miserable. But that occasion, I truly believed victory was going to be ours. Until this thing occurred.
A Strange Halt in the Game
The action suddenly stopped, for reasons that were at first unclear. A few footballers peered an object resting on the field. Gingerly, squeamishly, they moved closer to whatever it was. Bizarre. Since binoculars aren’t available on the backs of seats at football grounds, we couldn’t identify it. Eventually, an employee from the stadium team appeared, wearing rubber gloves. He walked onto the middle of the field, collected the object , and returned to the sidelines carrying half a pigeon – dead, naturally.
Yes, half a dead pigeon had fallen from the skies on to our pitch. My first thought didn’t go for the pigeon’s welfare, nor even its origin. All I could think of concerned that the match had turned against us. There isn’t any side anywhere able to overcome such an clear portent of doom. Half a deceased creature falling from the sky? Good heavens, I’ve seen plenty of horrible occurrences at West Brom, yet none like this. I haven’t seen Game of Thrones, but I assume that’s exactly what that goes on there constantly.
A Bird of Prey Revelation
Upon inquiring a club official what had happened. Apparently we’ve long had a bird of prey residing at the top in our West Stand. I was told it often dines on pigeon discarding the remains below. Yet not, until now, during games. A world sinister ideas crowd into my thoughts. Why not coach it to release its prey on opposition strikers as they bear down on our goal? Or perhaps, in extremis, nip at opponents? That’s the bare minimum the falcon can do to help us after that disaster.
The Predictable Conclusion
Indeed, I forgot to mention, the half-pigeon of misfortune ensured that Derby actually triumph, via their sole on-target shot of the match. And I went home dejected.
